To my AMAZING husband, Happy Father’s Day, 2020! I know this year hasn’t been what anyone would have wanted or could have imagined but today is YOUR day…and I am celebrating you. August 2009…mine and my childrens’ lives were forever changed after that. You came into our world and changed every opinion that I had about men, dads, love, and life. You became a person that I could lean on. A person that I could depend on. But most importantly, you embraced my children into your life and since then have been one of the most important people in their lives as well. To my love, you have always been the epitome of unselfish. You prove to be an amazing man with every breath that you take. You not only support me every single day, but you support and help to mold our 7 young people to become the amazing kids/young adults that they are starting to become as well. I pray that today gives you so many blessings, love, and appreciation for the person who you are. I love you, my love. Happy Father’s Day! I am forever blessed that God gave us you. ❤

Four days ago I became a Mom of all Teenagers… Three teenagers to be exact.  One…on the epitome of adulthood.  Two…right on her heels…

My first is almost 16.  I look at her eye to eye today and I wonder where did my baby go?  She was here as my baby…just yesterday.  Right?  I’m certain it was her….but today she is grown, and mature, and strong-willed, and has a temper that goes from 1 to 100 in meer seconds.  Her temper is strangely familiar.  It reminds me of her Mother.  She is also so very passionate.  Passionate in a way that I was probably scared to be at her age or was never really given that social freedom to be.  She believes in love…and harmony…and being who you are.  I respect her and I embrace her and more times than not…I agree with her.   She is an “Old Soul” with the most beautiful of beliefs and the greatest of strengths that I have ever seen.  People are most definitely drawn to her..

Four days ago my second born became a teenager as well.  My only son.  My mini-me.  My love.  He is also a young man of passion.  He believes strongly in his own beliefs.  He is quick to give a helping hand.  Quick to say he’s sorry.  Quick to do whatever needs doing so he can do his part to be “present”.  He is my comedian.  He wants to bring a laugh to another.  He is my child that reminds me the most of me.  Not in the comedian way but in the giving way.  He gives and gives and gives…but he also has that same temper that I see in my oldest… and in myself.  A fiery personality seems to be a bit hereditary here lol but I can’t say that I resent it.  He will give a wonderful woman an amazing husband one day…

Lastly, but oh so just in time. My 3rd babe arrived 13 years ago as well.  She doesn’t have our fiery tempers.  Thank you Jesus.  Instead,  she has a love of life that is so nonchalant…so imperfect…but so perfect.  She loves everyone that she sees.  She hates confrontation.  She is quiet just like her Mom can be.  She doesn’t like attention at all.  She has a love of others that doesn’t even make sense.  Her quiet strength amazes all that meet her… She never expects recognition and honestly prays that she doesn’t get it.  She will be the gal that hides herself in the back of the room…but the one that some will be drawn to.  I can’t wait to watch her transformation.  I love my girl..

I am a Mom to Three Amazing Teenagers… I am blessed when I see the ways that they are like me and thankful in ways that they are stronger than I could ever imagine.  I feel such pride in my babes… It’s an interesting year.  2018 has already introduced me to 2-13 year olds and will soon give me a 16 year old as well and they are all three so truly  amazing.. I’m so very blessed.  Mom since #2002.

Here I am.. Summer of 2016.  My oldest will soon be entering high school and my youngest babes will soon be entering middle school.  It’s kinda weird writing those words.  How could life be passing by so quickly?  Just yesterday I promise you they were babies and I wondered how I would survive 2 infants and 1 toddler all at once lol.  I wish I could accurately put into words the feelings that I feel today though.  It’s sorta a weird stab in the chest that is so slow but yet sudden that it’s done and over before you knew what actually hit you…and therefore most definitely hard to explain.  I read blogs some days but it’s so irrelevant to my life that I suddenly stop and return to my life of daydreams and memories.  Most people that blog…talk about babies or toddlers or even their young elementary children and how cute and sweet each milestone is.  People don’t blog about their older children, their teens, or even young adults.  Life is different when we hit these specific moments in our lives.  They aren’t quite as cute, or sweet, or innocent.  Instead…they are different.  Yes… some days may be exciting…but in a different sort of way.  We go to their 5th grade celebration and they run wild visiting each of their friends and their Moms sit on the sidelines and may get a nod or a wave in their direction and in that exact moment our heart skips a beat and we are so proud…but different from when we held their little hands during their class parties and they showed us every inch of their classroom and their artwork on the walls..  It’s just a different type of pride that we carry.  Yes..it’s so fun to watch them slap high fives with their friends and watch them catch glimpses of their crushes as they smile in their direction.  It’s exciting to sit on the sidelines of our teens and watch them fix their own hair, apply their own makeup, and choose their own styles of clothing, etc….and absolutely be supportive of these new found choices that they independently make.  It’s exciting to watch our teens get dressed up for their school dances and watch them from our cars as they excitedly enter their schools on their own..but it’s so different from the Daddy/Daughter Dance that we sent them on just a few years before where we snapped pics all the way into the dance itself.  It’s a different type of happiness…a different type of love… We sit back and watch them from afar…and some days we are so overly proud of these young people and how far they have come and how independent that they are…and some days we are sad…because as our children are growing into adults…us adults are growing as well.  We are trying to figure out how to not be quite as needed as we once were…how to be more independent on our own without our littles clutching to our legs…  It isn’t easy.  I promise you that.  Lots of tears along the way..  Lots and lots of tears…but we eventually wipe those tears away…and we have lots and lots of smiles because we see that the years that we’ve put into raising our babes up…has resulted into respectful, responsible, loving, caring, and amazing young people…and we had a part in all of that.  Yep…we did it.  It’s hard letting go some days…but the rewards in our journey is great.  Happy graduation to all 3 of my loves as my oldest enters high school and my youngest babes enter middle school.. We did it ya’ll… I love ya’ll more than the moon, stars, and sky…and then some more after that… Always…and forever..

I haven’t wrote in awhile. Well..it’s been quite awhile actually. My reason? Well…I love to blog but it doesn’t really come natural or even easy to me. My sister is a natural blogger. She is exceptional and great. Her words will bring you to tears in a matter of 2.2 seconds. It comes easy to her…but me? Not so much. I have to think on it..and really figure out what it is I want to say. Today is no different. I am overwhelmed with feelings but don’t know how to say it all. My “easy” is pictures…photography…art…but not in words. No…Words are hard. They are difficult for me…and uncomfortable. They make things a bit more complicated. Putting myself out there to the world isn’t easy…but isn’t that what blogging is kinda about? I think so…so here goes. Here is me putting myself out there..

Happy New Years to my family. Happy New Years to my friends. Happy New Years to my neighbors…my co-workers…the people that mean the most to me…the people that WILL mean the most to me in 2015.  A little about me for those that may think they know me but don’t? Here we go. I’m painfully shy. I get anxiety just thinking about meeting new folks. I try to step out of my comfort zone because I love my husband to be (and he is far from shy). I “try” to step out of my comfort zone for my kids because my youngest daughter is like me…and I don’t want her to deal with the issues that shyness has brought me. I’m not saying shyness is necessarily a “bad” thing…but it can make things more difficult…or kinda harder than for more not so shy folks. Other things about me? I love my family. I mean seriously…deeply..and in all ways love my family. My children mean the absolute most to me. I breathe for them. I wake up and think of them. They are my reason..my purpose. Maybe crazy to some..but I know some parents understand that kind of overpowering…encompassing love. My husband to be means more to me than I promise lots of people that are married feel for their significant others. It’s kinda of an all encompassing…this is the real kind of love feeling. We found the “real” stuff. I know so many people never find that kind of love so I know I’m overly blessed to have found my one true soulmate. I am overly blessed indeed. Other things? I’m a nurse. Many days I leave work feeling so satisfied that I helped one person during my 12 hour shift. Lots of days I don’t. That’s the reality of nursing. We give continuously and many days…that’s all. We give. We don’t receive a whole lot in return…but for most nurses…that’s ok. We don’t expect a pat on the back or a thank you. We just do what we are supposed to do. What we are meant to do…because that is who we are. Giving human beings..that yes GIVE is who we are. We give in ways that so many people wouldn’t comprehend that type of giving. It’s a deep type of giving that only nurses and other medical and rescue personalle may understand. More? What else about me? Gosh..I don’t know? My Mom introduced me and my siblings to the world of art at a young age but back in the 1990’s (when I was in college) that wasn’t the way to go…but today? What would I go for? What would I reach for in my dreams? Graphic design maybe? Photography? Art? Some type of art…probably for sure. My father (even though he has never been a big influence in my life) was/is an amazing artist. It’s in my blood. On both sides…so there’s probably a big reason that I have that pull. Other things? I absolutely love the exact spot that God has led me and my family to. We are positioned right into the middle of paradise. My kids get an amazing education. We are surrounded by a wonderful group of neighbors..friends or future friends…people that my children will grow up with. Not everyone around us may recognize our blessings but I do. We are blessed. I grew up in a totally different world than I’m living in now..so I see my blessings. I feel them. Life isn’t always easy…but if we really open our eyes…we can see the beautiful blessings surrounding us. Happy New Years to my lovely friends…my amazing family…and the ones that will be brought into my life in 2015. Let’s make it a GREAT one…

Don’t judge. Don’t judge me and don’t judge your neighbor. Don’t judge your friend and don’t judge your co-worker. I am a person with feelings and so is every other living being. I work hard to just survive some days just like so many other people. Please don’t judge me. Don’t judge me for being happy (because God knows that I am)..but also don’t judge me for feeling sad some days too. Don’t judge me for being a working Mom. Don’t judge me if I was a stay-at-home Mom. Don’t judge me that I’m not always here for my kids to welcome them home when they get off of the bus everyday from school. It pulls at my heart strings every morning when I have to leave them more than anyone could possibly know. Don’t judge. Don’t judge me for working too much or not enough. Don’t judge me for being an introvert and don’t judge me if I was an extrovert. It takes all kinds. Don’t judge me for the clothes I wear. Just don’t judge. I will wear my comfy clothes too often and sometimes I will dress up and wear my above the knee boots in maybe the strangest of places. Don’t judge. Don’t judge me if my kids go to school with shorts on on the coolest of days or maybe they are all cocooned up in warm clothes on a day that gets way too warm. Who has time some days to know exactly what the weather will do that day? Don’t judge me for not checking my kids school folders every single day. Some days I come home from work tired in all ways that a body can be tired and even pulling a folder out of a book bag seems impossible. Don’t judge me for posting too many pictures of my children on Facebook or Instagram. They are my world…and I’m proud of my world. Don’t judge me because my house is too nice or not nice enough. What does it really matter as long as what’s under that roof is full of love and happiness. Don’t judge me because my vehicle squeals as I head down the street. It’s paid off and has been my dependable ride for a very long time. Don’t judge me. Don’t judge me that yes…my mums are already dying as I sit here writing this blog. I admitted from the beginning that I have the opposite of a green thumb. Don’t judge. Don’t judge me that I sometimes grab my Coke Zero instead of my bottle of water or if I have chips and dip for breakfast (because yes..sometimes I do that). Don’t judge me if I gain a pound or ten pounds. Don’t…because trust me..I know. Don’t judge me if I stay awake at night worrying over the future of my sweet babies or if I wake up in the night in a cold sweat with an all out panick attack wondering if the type of Mom that I am is enough. We all have our vices. Don’t judge me. Don’t judge anyone. Let’s be kind. Let’s give a smile or an encouraging word to someone that may be struggling today. Let’s not judge. Embrace others. We are all trying to just figure this thing called life out the best way that we know how. Let’s take it upon ourselves to make a difference in someone else’s life..and just don’t judge..

For 22 minutes…I held you today.  22 whole uninterrupted minutes.  You walked down the stairs this morning all dressed and ready for school.  I had just watched your sister get onto the school bus, and I was so ready to walk up the stairs and cuddle you up.  However, as I walked back into the house, there you were.  You had woke up on your own and were ready to get the day started.  My heart did a somersault as I thought about how much I wanted to hold you.  I quickly asked you if you wanted to crawl up in my bed and cuddle and you were so quick to oblige.  For 22 minutes I felt my arms wrapped around you.  For 22 minutes I felt the way your arm wrapped around me and I felt your fingertips ever so lightly against the right side of my back.  22 glorious minutes.  I found myself running my hands through your curls and trying to remember exactly how you looked, felt, and smelled in that exact moment.  I remember saying and hearing the many “I Love You’s” that were spoken between us.  I embraced every single second I had with you this morning.  You see…I know how fast time will go by.  I know how quickly you will be grown and I won’t be able to hold you quite the same as I did today.  I know all of this…so I held you.  For 22 minutes…I held you today…

I made memories over our summer vacation this year. Memories that I will forever remember and cherish.  My family and I went to Destin, Florida for the 3rd time within the last 4 years.  We had, I have to say, the most amazing time that I’ve ever had while on vacation.

We got up early that Sunday morning and were on our way.  The kids did what they always do.  They alternated between playing games on their electronics, eating, chatting together, and sleeping.  Everyone was in good spirits as we headed to see our beloved ocean.

We arrived at our condo at about 3:00pm and Mimi and Papa showed up a few hours later.  We immediately checked out our condo, unpacked our luggage, and headed straight to the beach where we could barely wait to put our feet into the sand and into the ocean.  You see…my family loves the water.  We love swimming.  We love the waves knocking us down and splashing upon us.  We probably should have been born by the water.  My 3 sweet children have no fear of the water…I think they get that from their Mimi.  Even though that sometimes scares their mother…I’m proud of my 3 little “fish”.  My girls are a bit more adventuresome than my sweet son when it comes to the waves of the ocean, however.  They love to “ride the waves” as they call it.  They love to feel the wind through their hair…the water on their skin…feel the sunshine glistening on their faces…and the sand sift through their toes.  They do…I do…we all do.  We absolutely love the beach.  I think it’s great to see different areas but to miss out on seeing the ocean for a summer would be upsetting to say the least.  It is what we love.  It is our little bit of peace while we make memories together.  That first night was spent with flashlights and the sand beneath our feet…and our very first experience with what we later found out were called “sand fleas”.  My brave boy would soon find himself picking them up, tossing them around, and catching countless of them throughout the week.  They didn’t bother me too bad until the tide would rise some and they would come in droves onto my feet.  That freaked me out a little and was not something that I could easily get used to. Overall, that first night was amazing and wonderful but we were exhausted so it was off to bed we went..

The next morning was beautiful.  The weather was impeccable.  We couldn’t have asked for a better day.   That morning we went down to the beach and the kids began swimming out in the ocean.  We were out there for probably 30 minutes when Justin walks up to me and says “come on.  We are going parasailing.”  Justin had mentioned to me off and on that he wanted to take me parasailing and I had before this moment not been very agreeable.  So…all I could think was “what….right now?”   We had just gotten settled in at the beach but before I knew it, he had the kids and I halfway running down the beach so we would be ready when the boat was available to pick us up.  He was smart I have to say.  He did it so suddenly that I didn’t have time to process what we were about to do, much less argue about it haha.  We rode the banana innertube thingy out over the waves to reach our boat.  I remember holding my watersport video camera in one hand, holding on for dear life with the other, and continually telling my babies to “hold on tight” while praying that no one fell off.  When we got onto the boat, the reality of what we were about to do began to sink in. I remember I just kept thinking “really?”…I’m not overly fond of heights and couldn’t believe that this was about to happen.  The guys on the boat were really nice and got us all hooked up to our gear.  When they had us positioned where they wanted us, they said stand up on your feet, lean back…and there we went. Flying up high till the next thing I knew my babies were barely little specks in the boat below us.  In all honesty, Justin knows just how to “push” me outside of my comfort zone which allows me to discover amazing and wonderful experiences.  We were floating up in the air with his arms wrapped around me looking out over the ocean, Destin, the beach…in complete awe.  It was pretty funny because if anyone knows me very well at all…they know that I’m addicted and obsessed with pictures and now video.  So, me doing what I do, I found myself attempting to video us as we floated in pure bliss.  Unbeknownst to me, I was about to get the surprise of my life and would later find out while looking through videos that I videoed the whole thing.  I honestly have no recollection of it but so glad I kept that video going.  On July 8th, 2013, my love for 4 years now professed his love to me and asked me to be his wife.  Sappy to some maybe…but sometimes the life you lead makes you even more appreciative of the great things in life that come upon you.  This is me.  A person that takes in every memory, appreciates living…I mean REAL living, and isn’t one bit ashamed of being open and honest with my happiness, joys, blessings, and every other positive emotion that you could possibly imagine feeling.  That’s why when he proposed to me…when he incorporated my children in our beautiful memory as they held up a “Marry Me” sign from the boat…I once again took a mental “snapshot” of what was before me and pray I will always remember that exact moment in time.  After returning to the boat, my oldest daughter was sweet enough to video him placing the most beautiful ring onto my finger.  I have to say…that day…5  happy people got onto that boat and 5 VERY happy people got off.  When we returned to the safety of the beach, the kids ran back to where Mimi and Papa sat to announce the happy news…and Justin & I just continued doing what we try to always do…make memories as we walked upon the beach hand in hand.

We spent the rest of the day relaxing on the beach and later enjoyed a good meal at “Fudpuckers” and the kids enjoyed feeding the alligators, which seems to be a continuing tradition for us now. They also enjoyed playing games in the game room and later spending the tickets that they had won.  Lauren won the jackpot and found herself in ticket bliss. Ha!

The next day we had another beautiful day on the beach.  The kids found themselves splashing in the water and building sandcastles while their Mother always stood close by either snapping pictures, taking video, or putting everything down just to join in the fun.  The kids absolutely loved playing in the sand and I kept catching myself wanting to remember exactly how they looked, laughed, and played.  I’ve always known that I was an “old soul”.  My sister and I both have such a strange sense of reality and have always been able to “see” life, people, situations, everything really for more than what other people may see.  So, when I spend these moments of my life with the people that mean the most to me…I can’t help but want or even “ache” to remember every detail.  It’s just how I am.  It’s “who” I am.  I’m an emotional, sappy woman that wants to hold the memories of my children always close to me….and that’s exactly what we did that day.  Made memories.

That night we ate a wonderful meal prepared by Papa including lemon pepper chicken, corn on the cob, green beans, and garlic toast.  We then walked across the street from our condo to a fun little place to enjoy a night of race car driving, putt putt golf, bumper cars, and bumper boats.  We finished up the night with fattening ice cream that tasted oh so good.  It was a great day.

The kids woke up the next day with a bit of soreness from so much sun exposure so we spent some time exploring Destin and spent some time down at the Harbor Walk Marina.  We enjoyed looking at the cool cruise ships and little shops that were along the way.  We even came across some super big fish that were caught while deep sea fishing and Logan is determined that we go someday lol.

That night we ate at Bubba Gumps and enjoyed a good meal.  It was Raegan’s favorite meal of our vacation as she got a $22 plate of ribs lol.  She absolutely loves ribs. 😉 By that point in the day, the rain had found us but it wasn’t much and it didn’t last long so we did have the chance to walk up and down the beach with only a slight drizzle for part of our walk while the kids enjoyed playing with their nets and buckets that we picked up at Walmart and I, of course, got some great pics of our group.

We awoke the next morning to rain.  Rain and clouds that promised even more rain.  I could under certain circumstances have been upset and let it put a “damper” on our day…but instead I told the kids to grab their buckets and nets because we were headed to the beach.  We spent the next 5 hours “playing” on the beach…and the whole entire time it rained.  I have to admit in all of my life I can honestly say that this is something that I have never done…or at least for that amount of time. Playing in the rain just hasn’t exactly been something that was on my bucket list…but it turned out to be one of the most amazing memories of our trip.  We caught little bitty fish, more “sand fleas” and even caught a crab.  The kids built a whole sandcastle “town” which included ponds for the fish we caught to swim in.  We ran and romped and laughed and loved every minute of it.  I got some great video and pics with my watersport camera but it soon ran out of battery and when it did…I just remember closing my eyes, taking it all in, and thanking God for such a beautiful day and wonderful memories.  The rain was such a blessing that day.

Later that afternoon, with the rain all gone, we went to the Harbor and enjoyed a wonderful meal at AJ’s Seafood and Oyster Bar and went on the Southern Star Cruise Ship.  We had the most amazing time seeing dolphins play, watching the waves, and seeing the most beautiful sunset.  We would all later agree that our cruise ship experience was definitely on all of our lists of great experiences.  After a 2 hour cruise, we found ourselves back on the Harbor just in time to watch Justin dance with the girls awhile as we listened to a saxophone player play and then sit along the pier and watch some beautiful fireworks.  It was a wonderful way to end our vacation.

The next morning we got up in time to spend a short time on the beach one last time before heading back to Tennessee.  Overall, it was an amazing vacation full of wonderful memories that will last us a lifetime…but I have to admit, I’m already ready to go back. 😉

This past Wednesday, I had a long overdue date with my sweet son. He’s been asking for awhile when we could go out together…just the two of us. Unfortunately, it took a bit for me to get a time scheduled for our date while his sisters were occupied with something else. We got up early Wednesday morning and I could feel the excitement run through me. This day…this day was just for me and my boy. I sometimes wonder if he gets the attention that he deserves being the only boy with 2 sisters. This day I would spend only focusing on him…only worrying about his feelings, wants, and needs. One day devoted totally to him. I could hardly wait!

On our way to the theater, he was very attentive to the GPS so that he could instruct me on every curve, turn, how many miles we lacked, or what have you. He was so cute as he held up the GPS the whole way trying to “help” navigate me to our desired location haha.

We watched a great little movie named “Turbo”. It turned out to be more great than I expected. Who would have thought a movie about a snail would have turned out to be so exciting lol? After the movie we went to Logan’s for a late lunch and my sweet boy just had to have ribs. Of course I first asked the waiter if there were ribs available on the kids menu before ordering him a half rack of ribs with a side order of their yummy fries from the adult side lol. He enjoyed them thoroughly and I definitely don’t regret that order. 😉

Overall, our “date” together was just what we needed. A day to laugh, be silly, and only have eyes for one another. I love my boy. I hope he always remembers..